June 3rd 2019

Going to see the Nyamirambo women center and seeing how resourceful and helpful they are to women of all ages was amazing. The tool the women learn how to do is sewing and to see the women creating everything under the sun, bookbags, hats, bears, wallets, etc was something I've never thought I would ever get to see. It was inspiring. Everyone can create and make a living doing so. Even the classroom for young girls to learn how to sew was nice. I learned that the young girls are chosen to be a part of the classes. Also touring the neighborhoods around it was really beautiful. Seeing how the people their lives within their community.
(Later that day)
...stillness and numbness is what I feel. I know there's more but its something I can't put into words. I felt like the world was going in slow motion and I was slowly suffocating. My throat felt like it was closing, felt like a fist in my throat. I feel these feelings but I cannot become them. When I feel distressed or anger or sadness I shut down, I don't speak. I developed the mindset of not speaking because I don't know the "perfect" words to describe how I feel. I found describing how I feel very difficult. 
Visiting the Kigali Genocide Memorial was overwhelming but I understand why I felt that. Genocide happens everywhere, within any community, town, city, state, country, and continent. If I were to define genocide I would define it as killing a reflection, one killing what they see in the mirror, killing people who look like you. How can one say one is more superior than the other? How can one say one is responsible for their troubles and struggles? How can one befriend one and turn on them in the next? How can one kill, or for a lack of a better word exterminate one? How can one let not only anger but fear take over to harm one? How can one throw all their sense of humanity out the door? I'm thankful for the museum. I was born three years after and even growing up I never learned anything about the genocide. I learned about the Holocaust but nothing more. Every story matters. I am happy I learned about it before coming to Rwanda and more in depth being here in Rwanda. Thank you Rwanda for keeping your past alive so others can remember what happened. Your history is important!